I want to gooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

What if you always aspire to be an artist, who dreams about making it big one day and you're on your way. And one day, you think to yourself, hmmm I feel like running a cafe one day, just an artsy cafe in a quiet place with nice views and good amount of sunlight (yes, it is important)  with no branch whatsoever, your chill paradise alone.
I will live somewhere nearby in a nice urban apartment, living a good life, financially secure.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I still love drawing and painting and other stuff, but I know what I love the most now: just chill and relax. I love the relaxed feelings, the smell of coffee and tea, the clean environment. It makes me feel like I'm in a different world, forget about other things.
I know I can't chill and relax for the rest of my life (especially if I have to run the place) I have to work my butt off. So at least, if I am to run a cafe, I can work in such a chill environment, with people relaxing around you. The ambience, the music, the pretty looking cakes and confections and the tea cups and pots. the feel of the place itself.
Once more, of course I know my views of it now are really dreamy and blissful, it will be different then if I really have to do it.

Maybe I should just leave it a daydream, but who knows... I just feel like it's right right now, like my other daydreams.

OOOH summer colors! Semester's over, no painting and no mess on my carpet! Everything's digital next semester, baby!
time to paint some acrylics on my nail again!

Oh god, this is so pointless but how am I so glad I can do this again haha~

Urk I hate myself for totally not able to cook anything good tasting.
Um...I can't even swallow my own sunny side up. Aaaa I really need to be better at this :(

I gtg brush my teeth. Damn it tastes so awful I want to barf >.<
I think instant packaged salad is much safer...just the usual.

Happy Halloween everyone!!!

My sore throat is getting worse, but at least the fever's gone.
I wanna draw Halloween picture, but I have tons of assignments XD Too bad :p

I re-watched Tekkon for...Ionno...I lost count already. It's as awesome as ever! Not the best movie ever made, but will be in my top list EVER!
I seriously wish I can do quirky stuff like Yondoshii... :(

LOL I think I'm falling sick...!
I'm trying to eat good food, vitamins, and take a good rest today instead of doing "labor" work of tons of assignments.
I can catch up later on when I'm feeling better. Can't afford to get sick at all...wish me the best, ya?

I feel a bit down thinking about this. Everyone in school seems to have their main objectives going here. Some want to do creature design in game industry, some want to be character designers, the other landscape or concept artist, some of them even want to be a special effect specialists for movies. I myself wants to do animation (traditional and digital), I haven't met any fellow animation pursuer here though.
Problem is, I pretty much do below average on both film and animation class. I am still in B grade, but my works seem to be depressing me because they all are crap! I wish I could've started with a cool start, but I guess I can't since I can't be fabulous in everything. My other subjects seem to be better than my animation, but I want to do animation no matter what! I want to preserve...

I 'm feeling sick like I stated above. So I rested on my bed and tried to relax and sleep. Those thoughts came to mind...I feel somewhat depressed by the fact that I feel miserable about it. I muttered to myself without really thinking anything "You can do it, Steff!" and somehow I felt like someone else told me that, I was fully woken up...I felt a bit better. I need strength from others whom I trust.  I guess this is one time that I really feel loneliness. It's not like I am bothered by the fact, I like living alone. I trully do. It's just a complicated thing I can't really describe...

Imma take a rest now, I feel so weak and uncomfortable >.>

I LOST 20 US DOLLAR BILL DAMNIT!!! fark I need to do commission work to get back my monnies!!!!
That worth food for almost a week!!!!!! *wails*

I might want to do some comish illustration if I have the time... But then again, I'm not a very advanced/pro artist. I need money. I'm a poor art college student ;A;
Please do support if you're kind enough to help me with my misfortune ;A;

I am assigned to watch a foreign movie for my art history class essay. I watched Kitano's Dolls.
It's a tragedy, almost perfect. I cried from the first quarter nonstop till the end.
You would just ask "why?" but it can't be helped because miracles don't always happen. And these three stories weaved beautifully, quietly, into one story, almost like a dream, a sad illusion that makes your heart ache.
I really recommend it to everyone who loves tragic dramas.

I think I'm in love with SDelf Eveline, if I only I have a SD10 girl body to put the head on. It's rather weird though since that is my mother's name...=A=
and uh, I decided to sell Loon. I absolutely love the mold, but there's just no bond. Maybe it's just something like Cristal.
I love it, but prefer to have other thing that suits my taste *coughJaviCough*

I regret my decision to not buy So Nyeon Gi Haji, I like the head sculpt, though some of you might already know that I like Javi.
There's no Javi in Y!J nor E-bay :(

Anyway...Imma going all nighter this Saturday night!!!! For homework!!!

damn...;___; my tears are all used up for Kitano's movie XD

DAMN! The release date is tomorrow. and I've been stalking here for hours I warmed my seat already. D8
Am I too dedicated?! LOL

darn.

What a waste of time.

Just read an article that made me really angry. My PMS makes me hate people. My removed wisdom tooth's gum so painful I want to smack someone, The anesthetic's making me sleepy, and I have tons of drawings to make but I'm so sleepy and in pain.
Oh shoot. I don't know anymore if I can still go and finish this...
My gum is killing me...!!!
And I'm starving...Why am I always in a bad mood when I starve?

My assignment makes me cry blood! It makes me have some stupid internal monologue like "Damn I can't do this anymore!!! it's crazy!" "but everyone else has finished theirs! It's your own fault!" "I know but I can't do this anymore" "@(#*(@(*#@*&#*@&#@#"

WTH I promise I won't procrastinate anymore for the sake of my well being!!!
I still have hundreds to finish in this busy week... 

LOL it cracks me up!! 

Finally I found someone who is willing to draw Protagonist x Bebe with me! Yayyy~~~~! Thx, shin_e!!!
But seriously, even though I personally think that Bebe is cute, his nickname is just SO GAY!!!! As in GAY GAY, you know??  Even just pronouncing/saying his name makes me laugh (not snicker! laugh!)
I mean, who would nickname themselves "baby" or "babe" ???? Hahaha!!

I gotta go find people who worship TakaJin too~~~
And (it's damn obvious but I want!!!) NatsukiFuuka!!

SyuuxBebe FTW!!!

I will probably post up the pic if Shin gives her consent haha~~  


***


Super speedy doodle I did  yesterday...

*click for full size*

But this is the real color =p
I just thought that red looks kinda kickass so I post them both up ^^;

***

I was bored and read my old entries...DUDE! I posted and wrote such alien SAT level language...wth?! I think my English is failing and degrading each day D8
I think it also because I don't have as much time to read like I had back then...I hope it explains why my English is getting worse.

Sorry for being random.  

Took some pics of my boy yesterday. I know it's boring...but I haven't took photos of dolls lately...


Shion better stop tempting me to put him in girls dresses!
I mean...I don't have SD girl...and if I ever to get an SD girl, it won't have the same feel Shion does...and I like the aura he's giving if he's a girl (but I do not want Luciel...she's too tall)
He can even sit coughlikeagirlcough I'm so tempted to buy him long black hair and kimono. Make him look like those reserved old fashioned Asian girls LOL
I'm sorry, kid...

And Viola...Oh man she's such a baby...I mean...she makes me went AAWWW....everytime T_T
Unlike Laelia, who I adored since she's pretty...but I don't really play with her. Viola is just...well...I play with her a lot...and takes her pictures...and she makes me want to buy new clothes just for her.
I want more BFs, but in the same time I'm more than satisfied owning just her.


Ugh...I hate that killing or whatever ads in Photobucket and some other sites (anyone knows what's that all about??)...I hate the voice of the hostage's moans not mentioning it looks creepy and disturbing...it creeps me out...And it always took me awhile to get rid of the "unpleasant cold sensation" it gave me...
I wish these people stop putting such weird ads! T___T
Because seriously...it creeps me out like nuts!

Yaaayy cosfest was fun! But I was dead tired I fell asleep as soon as I hit my pillow! I didn't even change my shirt >.>
Cosplayers are strong!! Yayyy I love you~!

I will come early again later~! Heehee~~~~ See you there!

Sooooo late to play Patapon!!!

But I just got my PSP a few days ago and bought Patapon UMD.
I chose the deep red since that version caught my attention since the first time I saw it IRL. Problem is, I got it mixed with the Crimson Black DS's color and the red Sony Vaio >.>

I kept remembering the PSP being metallic red. And the official pictures online show the colors inaccurately (it being almost  deep rose/maroon). The real item is plain crimson red with metallic lining... a bit to my disappointment (I've seen the real item before, but seems like my memory was messed up a little).
But who cares...I love my PSP and loving Patapon!!!!

The song is brainwashing me!!!!!

I created an account at blogspot...
Supposedly I had an account there back then, but I forgot what it was =(
Don't know why I made an account there *just because it's easy, maybe, hahaha*
I'll keep it empty for now since I do not have anything worth writing and no one would read it...
I need someone to teach me how to customize the layout...

And DAMN!!! I still can't decide for the cosplay thing...

Why are there no people around today? (MSN, facebook, LJ, etc)
Even communities don't update as much...
It makes me bored. But then again, I think boredom is something good for me coz I become somewhat....productive.
Even though these are just fun CGs

asajhsasasasa depression.
So I drew Odeko-kun to distract myself T__T  *what a sad being I am*
Sue me.